Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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