i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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