i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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