do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
