Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I lost the right to judge tonight
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
