Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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