You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Hippo gnu deer
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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