Pants 0. Shit 1.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
