Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
