Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
This baby is an asshole
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
