Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Man, jail baloney is awful.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
