help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize