God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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