You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
