One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
