I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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