Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I supernannyed him into submission
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
