woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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