she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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