Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize