Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
