sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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