a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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