I wannas sexs uuuuu
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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