would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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