your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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