In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
