Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
