two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
