Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
