Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
