somebody snuck up and got me drunk
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
