it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
where are my eyebrows?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
