I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I can't turn off my feet"
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
