oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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