Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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