Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
