Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Randomize