operation harelip BJ is a go
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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