While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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