Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize