Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize