I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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