is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
