Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize