He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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