that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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