dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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