We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
my liver is dry heaving
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