Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
