It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
