Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
