Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
