my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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