That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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