hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
